dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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