Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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