I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
