The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
