Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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