I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
