is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
