Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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