how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
