so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
