So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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