People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
