so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
