is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
