at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
