So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Found your dick twin last night
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize