Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize