Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
