Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
