I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize