Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
