Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
