Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm always down for nudity.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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