So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
