Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
