shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
