return my video game
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
