the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
