...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize