i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
