Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize