ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
