Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
