thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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