I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
