I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
