I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize