Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
