You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize