By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
this hospital has no fireball
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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