I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
