barbara walters just said penis...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
