I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
