Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
