How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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