a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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