did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
