well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
