i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
