How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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