dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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