Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
