Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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