Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
