My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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