I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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