so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize