I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize