Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
wow bdsm is so cute
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
