Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize