SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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