Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
