Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
