If i come over, it means nothing
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Boobs are out for the taking
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
