we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
