Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
vagina is talking i cant
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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