Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
