...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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