her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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