Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
