you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
