Got a toothbrush?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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