bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
