I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
